Shaved Zucchini, Feta and Bacon Pizza and Writing Like a Motherf*&er

I started this blog because I wanted to write more.  I have always written, and have always loved to write, but since finishing my Masters thesis (and writing like a motherfucker for a year to do it) didn’t really know if I had anything else to say.  Then I started writing about food, and tapped into a seemingly neverending wellspring of inspiration for my words.

Shaved Zucchini Pizza |

The thing was, the little go-getter in me also wanted people to read my writing.  Blogging was the perfect platform for me, and it wasn’t long before I was snagging freelance gigs here and there.  It’s a dream come true.

Shaved Zucchini Pizza |

Recently, though, I’ve been on deadline for more freelance gigs than I’d ever imagined I would be!  This is a good thing – don’t get me wrong – but it means that instead of my writing consisting of staring dreamily out a cafe window with my latte in hand, waiting for inspiration to arrive, I have to just sit down and write.  Write like it’s my job.  Write, as one of my favourite authors, Cheryl Strayed, would say, like a motherfucker.  As in, get the damn words on the damn paper, inspiration or no inspiration.

Shaved Zucchini Pizza |

The thing is, increasingly, writing like a motherfucker seems to me to be the only way to write.  Waiting for inspiration isn’t writing, writing is.  I trust now that the ideas and witticisms will flow after I begin writing a piece (and that I can edit all the crap out later).  

Shaved Zucchini Pizza |

Are you ready for your food blogger segue now?  

Zucchini.  Doesn’t write like a motherfucker, but it grows like a motherfucker.  Unlike many gardeners, I don’t actually curse the zucchinis that just keep. on. growing.  I love zucchini:  it challenges me to find delicious ways to eat it.  The other day I made this great pizza and I thought I would share it with you.  It’s got a simple garlic white sauce for the base, and it’s topped with green-rimmed strands of zucchini, smokey bacon and salty feta.  Everyone in my family loved it.

Shaved Zucchini Pizza |

Shaved Zucchini, Bacon and Feta Pizza
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  1. For the pizza -
  2. 1 pizza crust
  3. 1 zucchini, shaved (I use a vegetable peeler for this)
  4. 1/4 onion, diced
  5. 4 strips bacon, cooked and drained of fat
  6. Feta cheese
  7. For the sauce -
  8. 4 tbsp. flour
  9. 4 tbsp. butter
  10. 1-1.5 cups milk
  11. 2 cloves garlic, minced
  1. Preheat your oven to 450F.
  2. In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Once it's melted, add the flour and whisk until fully incorporated. Throw in the garlic. Add in the milk slowly as to avoid lumps. Start with just 1 cup. Whisk regularly until the sauce begins to thicken. You want this sauce to be a nice thick white sauce to spread on your pizza, so if you need to whisk in more flour or milk to achieve the right consistency, do so.
  3. Once your sauce is finished, spread over a pizza crust (homemade or store bought - whatever you prefer). Top with onion, bacon, shaved zucchini and as much feta as you like. You can choose other cheeses as well: I've also made this with a ricotta cheese for a slightly milder flavour.
  4. Bake in the oven until the crust is crispy and the cheese has browned slightly.
  5. Enjoy!
Purple House Café

5 comments on “Shaved Zucchini, Feta and Bacon Pizza and Writing Like a Motherf*&er

  1. 1. We grew up in farm country. When it came to zucchini, my mother used to say, “don’t leave your car unlocked at night. It’ll be filled with zucchini by the morning.” Because it does grow like a motherfucker, and people NEED to get rid of it. This pizza looks epic, and would be a mighty fine way to get rid of the little buggers.

    2. My sister and I have been talking a lot about writing lately. She’s an award winning author and editor at a publishing house. (Disgustingly talented.) Anyhoo, she’s always telling me to get a shitty draft on paper, and then edit like a motherfucker later. JUST WRITE. And it works, doesn’t it? I hate it when other people are right.

    3. I can’t tell you how liberating it has been to swear throughout this comment.

    • 2 & 3) I quite enjoy both writing and saying MOTHERFUCKER. Project Write Like A Motherfucker has commenced on my end of things, and most of what I’m coming out with is drivel, and I love it.

      1) I now have 6 of the most mutant zucchinis I’ve ever seen, including one that is about the size of my upper arm WITH a smaller mutant baby/alien/parasite zucchini attached to it. It’s nasty, and it’s going to be lasagna tonight. Fuck yeah.

      4) Fuck.

  2. yes to Cheryl Strayed and that particular quote WRITE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER has stayed with me. YES to it! seriously.

    i’m a huge fan of zucchini, if i could grow it in my illegal rooftop garden i would. lately i’ve been ribbon-ing it and adding it to my pasta bowls, not taking out the pasta completely, but having less of it since the ribbons are in the bowl. it’s wonderfully light and i’m not missing the pasta or the heaviness it sometimes imparts.

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